I recently moved to Raleigh, NC after my husband got a job out here. As I get older, I seem further east from my roots in Colorado, but I love the travel and experience to meet people in all areas of the country. Not to mention, I have seen so many great things that I am truly grateful for the opportunity to spread my wings and grow because each area I have left my mark in, I also learn new things.
As I settle into the area, I am trying to find a job. I really want a job in PR or communication. I have been applying around the area to anything and everything I think I would love.
But I also started a new daunting project. I want to get a Cisco certification in networking because I think it would help further my job prospects. I am also a person who loves to learn and have attention to great deal so I think it would be something I am good at and may like. It also gives me an interesting project to work because a lot of job searching is about waiting.
I am trying to go for CCENT. It is an intro certification for people who know nothing about the area of networking. But even if I stick with PR, this certification can give me a huge advantage. If I not only know how to use existing tools to network but how to create these networks, I can do a lot with outreach. Journalism is all about networking and knowing how to fix what you work with can be incredible.
The project is no easy task though. I am learning the basics of how a computer functions and it is even more complex than me. Symbols and computer language can get quite confusing but it is an amazing little world what a few wires and networking cards can do. So far, I have learned about File Transfer Protocol (FTP), severs, and a few networking systems, TCP/IP (Transmission Control Protocol / Internet Protocol) and ISO (International Standard of Organization). While I will not bore you with the details of how they work (and it would take me awhile to condense 35 pages of solid learning out of my Cisco CCENT book), I am really excited as I put these words into life and open up my computer to try things for myself.
Even though I am on chapter 2 of 18, I would whole heartily recommend anybody interested in journalism to really learn the basics of networking because it puts it into a whole new light. It's amazing how fast technology can work and how the Internet work. Heck this blog post is being hosted over a server - and with the command protocol of HTTP, you can see it.
Once I get my CCENT, I may push forward toward CCNA. Luckily, I have a technology nerd husband who can help me along the way!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Marriage So Young
Last night, I went to the bar without Daniel. We have done this countless times before, going out and meeting people without being attached to the hip. But what always gets me... The men think I am fair game and are always shocked to see the ring around my finger as a 21 year old. Those that know me thought I would wait to get married. Heck, I even shocked myself when Daniel and I were discussing the prospects of marriage as that was not what I planned so young. We knew each other for 2 years when we said "I Do". While that isn't long to some people's standards, I knew it felt right, even though I was a bit young and inexperienced with love. I wasn't even old enough to toast with a little bit of bubbly at my own wedding...
But despite the constant inquiries and moans of people around us, we went ahead with our plans because we felt it was right. We had counseling, mentoring, and even spent months discussing it before he proposed. We did not tell anybody about this counseling because we were still unsure but we had a counseling session that asked us why we wouldn't married and we could not find anything holding us back. Our love had grown to the point we could not imagine one without the other. And when Daniel did propose, people dropped the P word like a bomb. You are PREGNANT. No, we were not. Two years later, I am still waiting for that baby to pop out. And my in-laws thought this last year when I gained a bit of weight, that it was happening. But nope. We will let you know. It is our decision.
And just because we are married doesn't mean we have to have a baby or we sacrifice our goals and dreams. As a matter of fact, I feel as I can do whatever I want as I always have someone cheering me on, thinking I am the greatest person in the world, and who cherishes me. That doesn't mean I am not self-confident without Daniel. I make my own choices in our relationship but just have someone to discuss them with before I act upon them (he acts as filter more than anything). Daniel also makes his choices and talks to me about them. We are two confident people - you just have to communicate your wants and needs in a relationship more than you would outside of a relationship.
I compiled this list of things that people most often say to me and their responses I always give them. While it doesn't really bug me people inquire about our lives, I want to raise awareness to some of these ideas.
1. "You have your whole live for marriage. Why did you give up your chance to be single and do whatever you want?" --- Hold Up. Since when did I say that I wasn't living the life I dreamed when I got married? Yes, being single gives you freedom marriage cannot. You can see who you want to see and go out whenever you want. But if you know me, that isn't a huge issue. I am not big into the whole bar scene and was never really interested in the whole one night stand scene. And just because I am married doesn't mean that we don't go out and get so drunk we puke our guts out. It just means you often get double trouble. And I will take the immense amount of support Daniel gives me because he makes me way braver to do things. It's a lot easier to take a risk when someone is there to catch you when you fall. And a good relationship means that you have someone supporting your dreams and goals, not taking them away.
2. "You are married. So when did you have your first baby?" --- Yes, marriage comes with sex. No, that doesn't mean we have a kid. That leads to the next question. "When are you going to have one?" I am only 21. Once you have a baby, you have the kid for your whole life. While I know children are truly a blessing and gift from God and I do eventually want to make our parents officially old grandparents, I have my 20's to live up to and some dreams to cross off my list before a pooping monster becomes part of our lives.
3. "You can't find a job wherever you want. How come you took the risk to come here and follow?" --- I am not following. It wasn't like Daniel shoved me in a bag and said we are going to Raleigh, NC whether you like it or not. I consented to come here because I know I can find what I want to do out here and have a high likely hood to get that job. I am also not limited in my jobs. We had a deep discussion about who was going to take the lead in their career right now but that doesn't mean I couldn't have and won't. I can also choose to have a long distance relationship but know I will just be miserable. That would put us in so much strain. I know this because we were separated for two months and it just plain out sucked. I am confident that my dreams can become reality here just like Daniel's and I won't stop until they do. Someone will have to take a job lead first in a relationship if you don't want to live apart.
4. "I would regret marrying young. I don't know why you did it." --- You said it yourself. You would regret it but I love it so far. Marriage takes work and many people are not ready to give it that work. But we have gotten such a head start on things it's unbelievable. We motivate each other, have already started saving for life events together, always have someone to do incredible things with (I can travel with my best friend)... I am willing to do anything for Daniel because I love him.
5. "You cannot have any friends with marriage." --- No. I think because we got married younger, we get along with a slightly older demographic but it doesn't mean we don't have friends. Yes, each others friends eventually meet each other but it does not mean Daniel cannot go out with the guys and have a great night. I trust him and he trusts me. We also have a rule - while Daniel can be around other females outside of a professional setting, there must be one guy friend present. That is vice versa for me. There are exceptions if we know and trust a person of the opposite sex but we also know cheating starts with temptation and it is the other person we do not trust, not each other.
6. "You have no financial freedom." --- Yes. I cannot go out and buy something huge without the other person knowing about it. But if I want something, I can communicate it and budget for it. It may take longer to get a desired item but if I really want it, we find a way to get it. This in a way is a positive as it keeps us in line of purchases and our budget. And living together is cheaper than living single as you can split things, instead of buying things twice as individuals.
While marriage is not for everyone (especially young), keep in mind that just because a status quo says something about a lot of people, they are not about EVERYONE. I personally love that I get to spend my life longer with someone who makes me happier than anyone (tied with me as you should also love yourself in a relationship) and buys me boxes of chocolate. =) It's your decision. It's your life. Live it how you choose.
But despite the constant inquiries and moans of people around us, we went ahead with our plans because we felt it was right. We had counseling, mentoring, and even spent months discussing it before he proposed. We did not tell anybody about this counseling because we were still unsure but we had a counseling session that asked us why we wouldn't married and we could not find anything holding us back. Our love had grown to the point we could not imagine one without the other. And when Daniel did propose, people dropped the P word like a bomb. You are PREGNANT. No, we were not. Two years later, I am still waiting for that baby to pop out. And my in-laws thought this last year when I gained a bit of weight, that it was happening. But nope. We will let you know. It is our decision.
And just because we are married doesn't mean we have to have a baby or we sacrifice our goals and dreams. As a matter of fact, I feel as I can do whatever I want as I always have someone cheering me on, thinking I am the greatest person in the world, and who cherishes me. That doesn't mean I am not self-confident without Daniel. I make my own choices in our relationship but just have someone to discuss them with before I act upon them (he acts as filter more than anything). Daniel also makes his choices and talks to me about them. We are two confident people - you just have to communicate your wants and needs in a relationship more than you would outside of a relationship.
I compiled this list of things that people most often say to me and their responses I always give them. While it doesn't really bug me people inquire about our lives, I want to raise awareness to some of these ideas.
1. "You have your whole live for marriage. Why did you give up your chance to be single and do whatever you want?" --- Hold Up. Since when did I say that I wasn't living the life I dreamed when I got married? Yes, being single gives you freedom marriage cannot. You can see who you want to see and go out whenever you want. But if you know me, that isn't a huge issue. I am not big into the whole bar scene and was never really interested in the whole one night stand scene. And just because I am married doesn't mean that we don't go out and get so drunk we puke our guts out. It just means you often get double trouble. And I will take the immense amount of support Daniel gives me because he makes me way braver to do things. It's a lot easier to take a risk when someone is there to catch you when you fall. And a good relationship means that you have someone supporting your dreams and goals, not taking them away.
2. "You are married. So when did you have your first baby?" --- Yes, marriage comes with sex. No, that doesn't mean we have a kid. That leads to the next question. "When are you going to have one?" I am only 21. Once you have a baby, you have the kid for your whole life. While I know children are truly a blessing and gift from God and I do eventually want to make our parents officially old grandparents, I have my 20's to live up to and some dreams to cross off my list before a pooping monster becomes part of our lives.
3. "You can't find a job wherever you want. How come you took the risk to come here and follow?" --- I am not following. It wasn't like Daniel shoved me in a bag and said we are going to Raleigh, NC whether you like it or not. I consented to come here because I know I can find what I want to do out here and have a high likely hood to get that job. I am also not limited in my jobs. We had a deep discussion about who was going to take the lead in their career right now but that doesn't mean I couldn't have and won't. I can also choose to have a long distance relationship but know I will just be miserable. That would put us in so much strain. I know this because we were separated for two months and it just plain out sucked. I am confident that my dreams can become reality here just like Daniel's and I won't stop until they do. Someone will have to take a job lead first in a relationship if you don't want to live apart.
4. "I would regret marrying young. I don't know why you did it." --- You said it yourself. You would regret it but I love it so far. Marriage takes work and many people are not ready to give it that work. But we have gotten such a head start on things it's unbelievable. We motivate each other, have already started saving for life events together, always have someone to do incredible things with (I can travel with my best friend)... I am willing to do anything for Daniel because I love him.
5. "You cannot have any friends with marriage." --- No. I think because we got married younger, we get along with a slightly older demographic but it doesn't mean we don't have friends. Yes, each others friends eventually meet each other but it does not mean Daniel cannot go out with the guys and have a great night. I trust him and he trusts me. We also have a rule - while Daniel can be around other females outside of a professional setting, there must be one guy friend present. That is vice versa for me. There are exceptions if we know and trust a person of the opposite sex but we also know cheating starts with temptation and it is the other person we do not trust, not each other.
6. "You have no financial freedom." --- Yes. I cannot go out and buy something huge without the other person knowing about it. But if I want something, I can communicate it and budget for it. It may take longer to get a desired item but if I really want it, we find a way to get it. This in a way is a positive as it keeps us in line of purchases and our budget. And living together is cheaper than living single as you can split things, instead of buying things twice as individuals.
While marriage is not for everyone (especially young), keep in mind that just because a status quo says something about a lot of people, they are not about EVERYONE. I personally love that I get to spend my life longer with someone who makes me happier than anyone (tied with me as you should also love yourself in a relationship) and buys me boxes of chocolate. =) It's your decision. It's your life. Live it how you choose.
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